Living life 30 days at a time when going through fertility treatments. It must be hard enough for childless couples, but still doing our "grief work" and missing Noah in the most gut wrenching ways, these anxious 30 days are almost too much to bear. But I am not giving up. I just have to find different ways to get through the days...
Wanted to stop for bagels for everyone at work on Sunday morning. While I was waiting in the slowest moving line ever, I watched a little boy about Noah's age walk around and push chairs. Noah loved pushing and rearranging chairs. Then the little boy arched his back and leaned against his mother while eating a mini bagel...and my heart hit the floor. Little scenes like that trigger and show themselves all day long. And they probobly always will. I had to leave the bagel store after seeing that... mainly because the line wasn't moving and I was going to be late. But also because I needed to pace my sadness for the day. And that was too much sadness so early on into that Sunday.
