Wednesday, April 18, 2012

rechartered territory?

It hit me last night that I may get to be a mommy again. Someone's mother. A child may look at me and breathe a sigh of relief...know I'll provide a snack...know I'll read them a book...know I'll cuddle on the couch...know I'll sing that song that makes them giggle. I just remembered how Hal would do "this little piggy" with Noah over and over and over again. Noah would practically stick his foot in Hal's face as his way of saying "again?". I loved seeing them together.  I loved our Sunday's together. We'd start planning our Sunday activity on Wednesday! We loved being just the three of us so much. I'd pack his diaper bag with sooo many extra outfits and snacks and books and toys. I'd lay out his clothes... the outfits that made me laugh. He had a pair of blue and yellow striped pajama pants that I would put on him during the day. They were happy looking and matched his always happy face. He loved to try to put his own socks and shoes on. He knew how to bring me a diaper from his room. It was so exciting to see him start to understand words. I miss him. I miss being his mommy. And I miss being anyone's mommy. It has to happen again...

Thursday, April 12, 2012

bubbling forth

So the literal translation of the hebrew word for 'prophet' means to "bubble forth". To spill over with water, cleansing, baptising, spreading truth and refreshing. Noah loved the bathtub. Sometimes 3 times a day we'd end up in the tub. "Do you want to go bubbles?" I'd ask. He'd turn like a soldier on one foot and run for the bathroom almost grunting "bubblebubblesbubbles!!!!!". He was fascinated by the water. He'd try to make it stop coming out-stopping and starting the faucet. I'd just watch, facinated by him, making sure he didn't turn it all the way to the left for HOT water.

Noah has left me "bubbling forth" like a prophet. I share what I feel and what truths I learn along the way. Sharing the dark thoughts with the revelations...