Tuesday, May 8, 2012

I used to love to sit at Barnes and Noble and read magazines...for hours. For a long time after Noah died, it all seemed so trivial. Not just the magazines-just everything. Last year for the annivesary of Noah's death ( all the parents in our club mark their days) we went to a place called Adamstown PA. It's subtitle is "The Antique Capitol of the World". I usually love all that but this was torturous. Surrounded by stuff...just stuff. I didn't care about stuff anymore. I hated stuff. Why was stuff still here and Noah wasn't? It's getting easier a bit. I'm making peace with the stuff that is here vs. my son who is not. The whole process seems to be in the stage called "meeting in the middle". My inner sad and my outer happy...I want my inner and outer to meet up for a cup of coffee, a cookie...maybe even share a turkey sandwich.

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